Balancing Act — Soliloquy Therapeutic Services

Balancing Act:

Since the novel coronavirus COVID-19 reared its ugly head we’ve been restricted in our daily activities, and contacts. By now, you’ve probably either engaged or know someone who has engaged in a number of wellness, self-care, centering, green and sustainable living, cleansing, daily routines. It’s probably a really great time for people to gradually ease themselves into a new lifestyle that incorporates these practices. Aside from the health benefits doing something new and doing it religiously helps detract from the isolative feelings that come along with all non-essential businesses being shut down and anxiety about the risks of contracting the illness being sky-high!

But what about those feelings we have. We all have them, the longing to hang out with a friend, or go to a party, see a movie or shop at a mall. We all miss life as it was. And we have also adapted. Virtual kickbacks, social media games, phone calls and facetimes, telehealth, video conferencing…the list of ways that technology has allowed us to remain connected goes on. We’ve adjusted in some ways so well that at the mention of “re-opening”, a small sprinkle of panic might set in. Where just a few weeks ago we were all itching to get back to our daily lives, suddenly the idea of getting back to it seems scary and unstable at best.

We’re reluctant to return because we’ve been forced to prioritize our health now for 2 months and, the external factors that detract from our focus on our health are those that are reopening now, or in the near future. Such a complicated mess this all is when we’re talking about our own wellbeing. When we’re talking about our own soliloquies.

Take for example the anxiety of it all. How do you manage the anxiety associated with reopening the world when you’ve only just learned to manage the anxiety of the global shut-down? Moreover, how do you make sense of a reluctance to gather with others while still feeling the pain of missing social interaction and human contact? How do you manage your fear of contracting the illness and also choose not to be guided by that fear? The entire situation has created such a giant juxtaposition within our lives that to proceed without careful examination of your own thoughts and feelings would be negligent.

Here are some questions to help you develop your own soliloquy about these opposing perspectives and to really get in touch with how you can care for yourself mentally and physically through such an unfamiliar transition.

1. In what ways has my life improved as a result of the Quarantine? Be specific here; instead of “I’ve had more time for myself”, say “I’ve had time to develop a skincare routine”. Instead of “I’ve gotten more into fitness” say “I’ve completed a 21-day squat challenge and a Couch to 5k program”. The more specific you are in answering this question the more positively you can begin to feel about the time spent at home. Make an exhaustive list.

2. What do I miss most about pre-quarantine life? Be Specific here also. Don’t just say “social interactions”, instead say “I miss hanging out at the mall with Katie and Kristen”. And instead of “I miss going out to eat with my friends”, say “I miss going to brunch with bottomless mimosas with Alexis and Raven”. Also, remember this is not a list of ALL of the things you miss, but of what you miss the MOST!! So be selective…everything can’t be super.

3. What are my top three primary feelings about things reopening in my area? Your strongest feelings about this transition out of quarantine are going to be the ones to guide your decision making throughout the process. Identifying these feelings can give you a clear picture of how to proceed and of which of self-car routines are going to help you overcome or manage those feelings.

4. What are my top three feelings trying to tell me about myself and my needs during this time? Our society is riddled with robotic expectations of humanity. There is always an expectation that people move without hesitation and a labeling of anxiety and fear as bad and undesired traits. But since coming into the room we know that vulnerability is. Good thing, and that our feelings are communicating with us. Taking time to identify your needs will give you the opportunity to address them.

5. Which of my new habits/practices can be used to meet my needs and address the fears and anxieties I have about the transition back into society so that I might enjoy the things I’ve missed most? Here is where you put it all together. Does your new yoga practice also help manage feelings of stress that come up when thinking about going back to work in the office? Or does your new running routine manage any apprehensions about returning to the gym? Are you so Zen during your weekly face mask routine that you can cope with wearing a mask whenever you leave the house?

So, there it is, a simple way to explore your own soliloquy about some major life transitions. It would probably be even more helpful if you brought these questions into the room with your therapist and shared your soliloquy there. If you’re new here and wondering why I keep referencing the room and your soliloquy, the posts that predate this one have all the explanation you need. I’ve linked them here: #1. Welcome & #2. Setting the Stage

Let me know how you’re coping during this time. Are you ready to jump back into the community or are you planning a more gradual exit? What things have helped you stay sane during this time at home and what things haven’t been helpful. The more time we spend with our feelings, the more we understand about ourselves!

Lows are always accompanied by highs…you have to look up to see them though
-Simple Soliloquy

Therapy can be a beautiful experience for anyone who wants it. If you’re just beginning your journey to finding your therapy home, I hope these simple soliloquies have been helpful.